"I am alone in my defeat"
yeah i woke up this morning feeling the same way i did when i went to bed. which is never good. i live with my ex-boyfriend. for a few more months at least its weird. or it got weird. he had a girlfriend less than 2 weeks after we broke up. we dated for almost a year. and i have adjusted since its been a months and a half month since we broke up. but i hadn't talked to him in 2 and a half weeks and when i did, all he did was shoot me down.
he says he knows me. well thats grand. teach me then, because i don't know me. maybe i am messed up. it just hurts that one of your "friends" can thrash you so harshly. so i try to erase his words from my mind. they go no where but deeper in my brain. I'd like to apologize (again) for my mistakes but they aren't my mistakes anymore.
does he want to hear me apologize for his mistakes? ugh. so i had a dream last night. and i cryed. in my dream. cryed. it felt so real but when i woke up i was ok. no tears. so i went back to sleep and woke up depressed. i'll be better as the day goes out. then i'll go home at 6. be online and listening to dashboard, new foud, and fiona. joy.
so why bum out about something that should even concern you anymore? well its not who said it but what was said. you know when you think you are happy being who you are. then to hear someone tell you that you aren't going anywhere and even though you are turning 20 in two days you are immature and i feel sorry for you.
I'm SO sorry i am not as mature as you have become in a few short weeks. its funny how someone is allowed to change dramtically in a few days and thats alright and we have to respect that they have changed IMMEADTLY. however if you try to better yourself day by day and ask someone to try to accept it they want nothing to do with it??!?
ugh. people. maybe i'll feel better later today.
maybe...
0 comments:
Post a Comment