My Joel Loves Me

despite the car accident and still being quite frazzed by that - i'm ok.

beyond ok.

talking to my mom went suprizingly well. much better than i thought. which made me calmer. i don't need to cry. it solves nothing. and if i'mnot a fuck-up by 40 i get my wish. awesome awesome.

went to get stuff to make dinner and i saw melinda. i love you melbie. my bestest best friend in the whole wide world.

p.s. thats still my billabong shirt. and i KNEW you had my o'neil hoody!!

then i got to see joel.

spent my evening holding him, and being held, and making dinner, and playing nintendo, and smiling, and talking, and laughing, and falling in love.

in the midst of all the bad, i don't know how i got to be lucky. what good i did to deserve him is beyond me.

but i am grateful for him.
and that feeling.
that i haven't felt in many many years.
something i thought i would never find again.

i found in you.
i love you joel.