oi oi oi
so have you ever been stuck between a rock and a hard place persay. you know... one of those feelings where whatever move you make is wrong?? this dennis guy, he's gotta go. or i have to go from him. i can't ignore my own feelings right? that feeling deep down inside saying "stay away".
even naif feels it. two feathers, adam, joel - they all feel the same. each person gets an "odd feeling" from his presence. so why do we allow him to stay around? i don't like the feeling i have when i am around him. i don't like his eyes. at all. i can feel him when he stares at me. it freaks me out. i know i am being mellow-dramatic and over reacting but i really hate the way i feel when he is there.
i know that makes me selfish justin. to say i don't want to be around my friends, my family... when he is there. but is it also wrong to ask me to fight a feeling i have? but you are right... i am safe. i'm always safe with my friends. no one is going to stand back and let him harm the group. we out number him 20 to 1. i guess its times like this i'm not happy to be the only girl in the group.
he targets me with his eyes. those cold blue eyes. it makes joel uneasy when he is around. ...when he is around me. when joel is stressed i feel it. respect it. i don't want to put any un-needed pressure on him.
but i thrive on the feeling i get from being around my friends. i couldn't survive without you guys. i don't want to miss out on memories because some dumb fuck makes me uneasy.
so here's the bottom line...
A) go, be with my friends, deal with the uncomfortable feeling from him. but get the joy of the company of good friends. but worry about how worried joel is.
B) don't go. don't have to deal with him eyes. joel is at ease. i am at ease. but i miss my friends. miss out on memories and good times.
... what now brown cow ...?
0 comments:
Post a Comment