we have about two inches of snow on the ground and i couldn't be happier. i love the snow and everything that comes with it. i love watching the flakes fall gently outside the window. i love when the moonlight hits the snow just right and it sparkles with frost. i wish is would snow softly every day from now until christmas.
the snow was bad this afternoon. visibility was terrible and i was really worried about joel driving home. people drive like assholes on the thruway, the weather would have been bad until he got outside of rochester. i worry that he may get hurt or stuck out there. but thats what you do when you love someone. you worry for them.
he left about a half hour ago. after the snow had stopped and the sky had turned back to blue. it's funny to look up and not see a cloud in the sky, but only a few hours ago i was scared to drive anywhere. it makes me feel much better knowing the visibility is back to unlimited. joel will be safer this way.
i am so lucky that he was able to come down this weekend for as long as he did. i don't like his living situation up in buffalo. i want him to be happy. he's not happy there. i hope he and bob can find a place soon. joel needs to get back to trying to become happy. sitting in buffalo is not doing it for him.
i don't know why i stress so much when he's not here. i miss him more than i should. maybe its the holidays. the holidays for me were my happiest memories with joel. this is will be our third christmas together and they always get better. it will be hard not seeing him for 3 or 4 weeks. i always hate when our times apart are that long. not seeing him for a whole month is killer. now knowing that for christmas he will only be able to stay a few days sucks as well. i will see him again on the 24th and the 25th, hopefull he can stay the night of the 26th as well.
i wish i had people to talk to here. something to do. something to keep me occupied. we (joel, gorham, and i) hung out with seth, lonergan, reynolds, fred, naif, briana, anthony, and justin wednesday night into early thanksgiving morning. it made me a bit nostalgic but quite happy. a well needed meeting i guess. bob came down but wasn't acting like himself. met steph, she seemed nice.
spent the first part of thanksgiving morning at the gem with everyone. what was i thankful for? being happy.
came home about 3am and was able to curl up next to the most wonderful person alive. thanksgiving day was filled with family and food. big italian families eat a lot around the holidays. thanksgiving for me is always 20 people or so. spending time with my nieces and nephew is always the best. amanda asked joel was "S A K" spelled... when he goes "uhm" she goes "it spells sack silly!" hahah. she's only 7.
i taught autumn (who is only 5) to play checkers. she understood the game in about 15 minutes. i was really proud. she's super smart. came back to my dad's to have a second thanks giving with joel's mom and brother. it was spent reading black friday ad's and joel and i watched war games. we finished out the night relaxing and watching some tele.
amy day was friday. spent most of the day (approx.4 or 5 hours) playing shenmue II for xbox with joel and anita. then joel and i picked up gorham and went to media play to get anita her birthday gifts. i bought two new fish. then we headed back to gorham's to wait for amy and matt.
spend time with amy and matt laughing about everything. amy taught me how to multiply by nine on my hands. now if i could only get the counting thing down. we went to dennys for some coffee and ran into everyone we saw wednesday night. spent time talking of good rpg's and such. my stomach REALLY started to hurt and joel and i called it a night.
woke up this morning and he put in shenmue. after an hour or so of game play i completed it. well, we completed it. it left it off as a cliff hanger and i will be extremely upset if there is not a shenmue III. spent the rest of the day enjoying what little time left i had with joel.
he left, what is now 45 minutes ago, and i still miss him just the same. i wish i had my own home. i feel like decorating for christmas. i love this time of year. i just wish i were a happier person. happy is so hard for me lately. i will just patiently wait for joel to come back to syracuse. i will continue to looks at schools for the summer and try to become happy.
i guess this was a boring entry. its time to go to my mom's now.
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